Eulogy format

This is the part almost nobody prepares, and it is the part that goes wrong on the day. A eulogy is a physical object you will hold in an unsteady hand, in unfamiliar light, in front of a room. Format it for those conditions rather than for a desk.

• 16 to 18 point type. It will look ridiculous on your screen. It will look correct at a lectern. Go to 20 if you normally wear reading glasses, because you may not want them on.
• One and a half or double spaced. Tight line spacing is where people lose their place after looking up.
• Single sided. Turning a page over is a fiddly, two-handed, audible action. Sliding a sheet sideways is neither.
• Number every page, large, in a corner. If you drop them — and people do — you can put them back in order in seconds.
• Do not staple, and do not use a plastic wallet. Staples force page-turning; plastic reflects light and sticks together.
• Never break a sentence across pages. End each page at a paragraph. A sentence split across a page break is where voices fail.
• Use a serif face at a normal weight. Georgia, Times, Garamond. Avoid italics for whole passages and avoid all-caps — both are measurably harder to read at speed.
• Bold the first two or three words of each paragraph. They act as anchors for your eye when you look back down after addressing the room.

A eulogy formatted for reading and one formatted for speaking are different documents. Add these marks by hand after printing:

• A slash for a pause. One for a breath, two for a longer stop. Most people rush; the marks give you permission not to.
• Underline the one word in each sentence you want to land on. It stops delivery flattening out.
• Mark the difficult paragraph. You already know which one it is. Put a symbol beside it so it does not arrive unannounced.
• Write BREATHE at the top of every page. It sounds silly and it works.
• Write your last sentence out on a separate card and put it in your pocket. If everything else goes wrong you can still finish.

Print two. Keep one, and before the service hand the other to someone sitting near the front — ideally not the closest family member, who has enough to carry.

Say to them: “If I can’t finish, will you take over from where I stop?” That single sentence removes most of the fear of speaking, because the worst outcome is now handled and it is no longer yours alone. Whether you ever need it is almost beside the point.

Knowing the running order helps more than people expect. It tells you what the room will have just heard, and how much settling they will need before you start.

• Find out if there is a lectern. If there is not, you are holding pages unsupported, which argues for fewer, heavier sheets.
• Ask about the microphone. A fixed mic means standing still; a handheld means one hand is gone and you need your pages in the other.
• Ask for water at the lectern. Most venues will do this if asked the day before, and almost none do it unprompted.
• Do not fold the pages into a pocket. Creases make paper spring and rustle. Use a plain folder or envelope.
• Email a copy to yourself and to one other person. Paper can be left in a car.

For what to do with your voice and body once you are up there, see how to deliver a eulogy.

Our set of fill-in eulogy templates gives you four fill-in templates, each shown blank and then completed. Our page on eulogy structure compares six different shapes and says where each one fails. How to write a eulogy walks through the whole thing in six steps, from a blank page to something you can say out loud. Our collection of eulogy examples has six complete eulogies in different voices and lengths.