How to write a funeral speech
Before you write anything, work out which speech you have been asked to give. There are five, they are different lengths, and most of the difficulty people have comes from writing a eulogy when they were asked for something else.
Last updated 12 June 2026
Step 1 — identify the speech
Ask the funeral director or whoever invited you two questions: how long have I got and where does it come in the order? The answers tell you which of these you are writing.
- The eulogy — 3 to 5 minutes, 400 to 650 words. The main tribute.
- A short tribute — 2 minutes, about 260 words. One slice of their life, when several people speak.
- Introducing a reading or music — 20 to 30 seconds.
- Graveside or committal words — 1 to 2 minutes, outdoors, people standing.
- The thank-you — under a minute, at the end or at the wake. Hospitality, not tribute.
Worked examples of all five are on funeral speech examples.
Step 2 — gather more than you need
Whichever speech it is, the raw material is the same: small specific things, not qualities. Give yourself fifteen minutes and write fragments — what they always said, what they were doing the last ordinary time you saw them, what they complained about happily for years.
Aim for twenty fragments and expect to use three. You need enough to choose from rather than enough to fill the time; a speech assembled from everything you could remember always sounds like it.
Step 3 — write the one you were asked for
If it is the eulogy
Follow the six-step method on how to write a eulogy. One claim about them, two or three memories proving it, an honest imperfection, what they leave, goodbye.
If it is a two-minute tribute
The most commonly misjudged speech at a funeral. People asked for two minutes deliver a compressed eulogy, and the room hears the same introduction four times.
- Do not introduce the person. Someone already has.
- Do not summarise their life. That is the eulogy’s job.
- Open inside your story. “I worked with Ray on the late shift, so I want to tell you about him at four in the morning.”
- One story, one point, one closing line. About 260 words total.
If it is a reading introduction
Twenty to thirty seconds, and it needs only three things: who you are, why this piece belonged to them, and then the reading. The connection is what matters — without it a reading feels like an item on a schedule rather than something chosen.
If it is graveside words
Write short sentences. Long ones disappear outdoors, where there is no acoustic help and people are standing, often cold. One to two minutes. Say something about the place if it was chosen for a reason — that lands well at a graveside — and tell people plainly what happens next.
If it is the thank-you
Not a second eulogy. Thank people for coming, name two or three who have done a lot this week, say where the food is and that nobody is in a hurry. Under a minute. Ideally given by someone steady rather than by the closest relative.
Step 4 — test it out loud
Stand up and read the whole thing at full volume with a timer running. This single test catches more problems than any amount of rereading: it finds the sentences you cannot say, the paragraph that undoes you, and the true length.
Cut anything you stumble over twice. Add fifteen seconds for walking up and settling your pages. Then print it at 16 to 18 point, single-sided and numbered — the details are on eulogy format.
If several of you are speaking
Ten minutes of coordination prevents both of the things that go wrong at multi-speaker funerals — overrunning and repetition.
- Divide the territory out loud: one on family, one on work, one on friendship.
- Say which specific story you are each telling, so three of you do not all tell the one about the caravan.
- Only the first speaker sets the scene.
- Agree who takes over if someone cannot continue, and hand that person a spare copy before the service.
Where to go next
How to write a eulogy walks through the whole thing in six steps, from a blank page to something you can say out loud. Our page of practical eulogy advice has fifteen practical tips and the four pieces of common advice worth ignoring. How to deliver a eulogy is about the lectern — your voice, your hands, and what to do if you break down. Eulogy examples has six complete eulogies in different voices and lengths.